Am I a bad person?

A preface - just a few months ago, we moved across the country (while I was 7 months pregnant) to live with my MIL temporarily until we can buy a house in California (which at this point may be never, as the prices are double of a comparable house in the Midwest). I lost my job, my husband works remotely, and we decided it would be better for our family (we also have a 3 year old) to be closer to his large family - as before we only had my Mom for support.

My MIL and I had a fairly good relationship until the week before we moved. (I mean, besides of course the time she came to stay with us in our 1 bedroom apartment for five weeks when our first son was born) While we were packing up (she came to “help”) - I was hormonal, understandably upset to leave my home, my Mom, and only take what would fit in 12 storage bins, and exhausted. She took this personally, and continually told my husband I was being “mean to her” - and he immediately told me to apologize for my attitude. When it came time to say goodbye to my Mom, I sobbed uncontrollably, and she sat stone faced. That was the first time I realized I likely made a huge mistake.

The day we left, our plane was delayed 10 hours, and we had to stay in the airport with our 3 year old, our blind dog, and again - I was 7 months pregnant. I started to cry, and was very upset. She proceeded to say I was “the most negative person she’s ever met in her life”, and that I should “get over it”. When this made me even more upset (and I yelled that I no longer wanted to go), she told my husband I should apologize for yelling at her. And he agreed. (Again, she sat stone faced when I sobbed after our last plane finally landed, knowing there was no turning back now)

I am very grateful that she would open her home to us (something that was her idea in the first place), however, we do pay a substantial amount of rent as well. I clean constantly, vacuum daily, cook, buy groceries, clean the kitchen every night - ect. ect. You would think she would be grateful to have rent AND a cleaning lady. But she never thanks me. My husband says she shouldn’t have to.

She is constantly making tiny comments and digs at me. Whether it is my parenting - “He thinks no means yes, you don’t discipline him ever”, my weight while pregnant - “Did you know (insert whatever I was eating) is 20 Weight Watchers points? That’s almost all my points for a day!”, what my husband should or shouldn’t be doing - “I never asked my husband for anything, especially not to help with the dishes”

The second week we were here, her dog (who I was told didn’t like other dogs, but not that he ATTACKED THEM), mauled our (very blind) dog when someone rang the doorbell. He needed emergency surgery (once again - I cried the whole way to the emergency vet as he was bleeding in my lap and she didn’t say a SINGLE WORD) - and she made me feel so guilty about the cost that I asked if we should pay for it. I wasn’t even sure if he would SURVIVE the surgery, but all she could talk about was the bill. (And then insisted that her dog was not a “bad dog” and that we should’ve been more careful.)

My second son is 8 weeks old. The week he was born (and I was desperately trying to breastfeed him successfully), she told my husband that she didn’t think I trusted her to hold the baby, because I was always “hogging” him. He was 4 days old!!! He said he thought I should go “out of my way” to let her hold the baby when I had to do something. I gave him to her and went and cried in the shower. (I am still struggling to breastfeed)

Whenever she doesn’t feel she is getting enough attention from my husband, she says out of the blue that she doesn’t think I like her, that she thought we could be best friends when we moved here, ect. He immediately comes to me each time and asks what I did to make her feel that way, and says I should apologize. Every single time I am dumbfounded- because I didn’t do anything! Every day I wake up and think, “I can’t wait to go home” - and then remember that I live here.

This is just a fraction of what goes on. (Whenever I have to make the baby a bottle, she says in a baby voice, “Help me - I’m starving”) Again tonight we argued (privately) about how much I hate living here, and was told it is my fault for having a negative attitude. This has taken such a toll on our marriage, and the number of times I’ve said I was going to take our kids and leave is shameful. But I don’t want them to grow up in a toxic environment, either.

Am I a bad person? Am I crazy to think this is THEIR fault - and that I am the one who deserves an apology for their overall lack of empathy?

EDIT: Thank you all SO much for your advice, encouragement, and most importantly - validating my feelings on this horrible situation. Every comment means so much to me. For the last 4 months, I have been told the problem is ME. I don’t want to leave my husband - but I also need a partner, and a teammate. We moved here so our children would have a better life, and more support was supposed to equal more time for each other.