I lost my boyfriend and one of my closest friends in the span of a week because of my behavior

Both said, "I can't deal with this anymore." I'm sad and anxious and slightly suicidal, and I guess I depended on them too much. I just wanted my friends to help, and I lost one. Clearly there is something wrong with me. I think its better that I off myself because I cant deal with this anymore. I dont want peoplw to leave