Tell someone you trust

I told my mum first and her words were " I don't know how you have coped for so long" I told my dad second and his words were "I couldn't live your life in that marriage" I told my counsellor next and his words were " you display all the signs of someone suffering from emotional abuse" I told my friend next and her words were "its more common than you think - my dad slept on the couch for decades and I used to wish they would just get divorced"

What I found was that this secret I had been keeping lost some of its strength when I started to tell the people I could trust. It also meant that I could unload every now and again if I really need to. But most of all, the look of sadness/horror/pity on their faces didn't make me feel bad - it just made me realise that this isn't normal and I shouldn't feel like I just have to cope. So, I know that this is hard, but if you are a HL in a DB who is keeping this deep dark dirty secret then please consider telling someone close to you, it might just help.