Rising Feelings

Its weird that I'm starting to get feelings about you. I kind of hate it, tbh. Because I know that you don't like me back in that way, and the moment I even hint that I like you, I know our friendship is going to be completely evaporated. Because that's just what you're like, because I know you. A guy you really liked for a while asked to be serious with you, and you literally ran away from him. I have no such chance to even be lauded in that fashion. I blame myself for being so teasing that's it gotten to the point we're both friendly-hostile to each other, I feel like its impossible to get to genuine sweetness at this point. And we're both just so timid as people anyways.

Its so torturous though. We have to see each other every day for work, and we hang out most Fridays we both have off. Does that mean anything? I feel like most girls are completely fine with disassociating guys as potential love interests. And I know you don't have that many guy friends, if at all.

I literally can not, and refuse to ask you out though unless greater signs are given, signs I know you won't give out either. I simply can't endanger our friendship, and the fact that we have to work in such close proximity all the time. I don't blame you for not having feelings for me. You wanting me as a friend isn't a fault of yours by any means. But I wonder what I do mean to you.

Stupid, stupid heart. You were stomped all over the ground from the last relationship you were in, can't you stifle yourself?