A positive post

So I haven't made an actual post on here or the other sub really talking about my life in a while. Things have been horrible and I just don't like to get into it. I found rock bottom and kept digging it deeper for quite a while. Lost a long term relationship. My cat died. I got evicted from my apartment I had for over 4 years. I lost a really close friend to heroin (my first loss to this shit). My health is shit. Was unemployed due to issues with my chronic pain when all this happened. Am currently homeless and just staying with a few different people. I've been beyond worn out mentally. My BPD has been out of control with all the stress. Constant panic attacks. Hurting myself. Not sleeping not eating. Really didn't know what the fuck to do to even get one foot in front of the other.

Things are still messy but I'm finally figuring stuff out. I just started a new job. It's not a good one but it's something and I think I'll be happy there which is great. I'm stable on suboxone and finally not using fucking dope. There's money in my pocket - not a lot, but more than quarters! - and I don't even want dope. I have goals and I'm finally excited and working toward them. For the first time in a long time, i am not finding myself begging god to just let me not wake up in the morning. A few people (and quite a few from Reddit actually, it's amazing some of the connections I've made on here) are holding me together and reminding me it's worth it. I'm pretty content guys!

however my mom is in the hospital for over two weeks now - if anyone could send good vibes or pray or whatever you do it would be much appreciated. First it was psych for a nervous breakdown and now she's in the regular medical unit possibly paralyzed. She's my best friend and I'm terrified.

PS to make this relevant for people, tell me anything good going for you or any goals you have or just anything positive!

Much love ❤️ c-d