Panty Raid called last night.

Thankfully, I didn't notice the phone ring since it was on vibrate. But I noticed I had a missed call and voicemail. Then I saw it was her. I started to panic. I didn't want to listen to the voicemail.

When my husband came home, I played it.

"Hi woofers, it's just your mom. I haven't heard from you in a while. I know you're busy, but we miss you and just want to know if you're still alive out there. Ok baby. Bye."

It sounded so innocent and sad. Her voice was shaky and sounded slightly desperate. I don't know how to feel. A part of me feels bad. I know I don't owe her anything, but it's been rolling in my head since it happened.

Should I send her a letter?

Maybe an email?

I can't call her. I can't do that.

Maybe I can just have aunt tell her I'm NC.

Should I just block the number?

What if she hurt herself?

I can't let her keep calling me. It's too triggering. I felt my heart race the entire time I was waiting for DH to come home. My girlfriend told me to delete it and not even listen. That was probably the best advice. Curiosity got the best of me and now I feel guilty. I wish I could be callus and hard and not give it another thought. There's just too many emotions. I hate that I care, but I'm glad that I do, too. I'm not her.

If I said what I needed to, even in a letter, I think I could block her number and feel better about it. Then I'm also confused because I'm 90% certain Aunt told her about me not talking to her... Then again.. maybe aunt didn't because she didn't want to deal with the drama of PR...

I don't know what to do.