I'm constantly seeking the approval of others.

This is what's been giving me anxiety today. So, I guess I noticed this some few years ago. I noticed that I really like showing off. I like getting compliments. I love getting recognition for things I felt took time. Nothing makes me happier than someone saying "Whoa, that's pretty cool, dude." or something to that effect. So much so that, I'll just show off what I've been doing to people. "Oh hey, I have to show you this." "Dude, I'm really proud of my sketchbook recently." "You should look through that."

It's cringeworthy enough as is, if it wasn't added by a second part. I hate going unrecognized. It's demoralizing, to the point where it can stop my day dead in its tracks. If I get cut off, or shut down, I don't want to do that thing for the rest of the day.

It's a problem. It's a really big fucking problem. I feel sick to my stomach right now, because I don't know if this post counts as this. "Look how smart I am, I'm introspective and recognize my own flaws. Notice me."

It's 2:50 AM. First post here in 11 months, and I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing here. I don't have a best friend, I just have a yes man who can't look at me objectively and agree with me that I have a problem.

Gee, how's that for self absorption.

Signing off.