Just need to vent a bit

I met a guy online almost three years ago. Long story short, I moved to his country and we've been together for over 2.5 years. Our relationship has its ups and downs, mainly because of my mental illnesses... Either way, I came to this country to study, but quit school after couple of months. I failed all but one of my exams. I had my first ever blackout in an exam, I knew what I was supposed to do, but I couldn't write anything down and started crying. I thought about jumping infront of a train when I was waiting for mine to arrive after school. It would have been so easy. Anyway, I got a job after awhile and got fired after 4 months. My boss said I had two options: stay for the rest of my contract or pick a date and leave. I chose to stay for the rest of my contract. I needed the money, my boyfriend and I had just bought a house with a help from a family friend. I didn't go to work the next week and so I left. It's been over six months now, I don't have a job, I don't think I can get one. We're staying afloat somehow. I get money from my parents, but I know that they can't support me for long and at some point I need to start paying my student loan. I can't imagine a future for myself anymore. I don't know what I want to do... I have a profession, but I don't want to work on that field anymore and since I haven't worked much to begin with, I'm not good at it. I'm completely lost.