The vibe of a deterioration in what once was works very well but I think the third line could be worked on a bit. To me it sounds a bit cliche, I think it would be interesting if you experimented with what kind of memories they are ie. "raw memories" or maybe "threadbare" memories


I echo that I love the vibe of deterioration and running the changing of seasons parallel to a lost love. The last two lines are almost too vague and mysterious, and I feel like adding one more line about that experience could be helpful. For example: "When you showed me / and I understood / what it means to be alive"

I loved this poem sometimes I like not having a lot of information and working of how it makes me feel instead of what I'm told. Maybe work on some punctuation though 😊

You Told Me to Close My Eyes