Thanks a lot, I will keep this in mind when rewriting the piece. Also, I think the stanza-break is an excellent idea.

I think this is an excellent way of dealing with a difficult theme. I think the third and fourth lines from the bottom are a bit clumsy, though; in particular "impurity of profession" sticks out as vague compared to the rest of the poem.

Also, I think you should break it into a second stanza after "Are you?"

Thank you for the feedback! I realize the ending needs quite some polish, I will try to integrate your thoughts.

Brilliant marriage of regret and nostaligia in your poem's theme. Your last three lines are your weakest, however. Perhaps when you use 'rot'  you should group them together to adhere to the Rule of Three.

I really like the imagery here. I'm not really a fan of you rhyming again with again though. 

Oh to be whole again.  
To catch the scarlet butterflies scattering,  
my thoughts, my memories,  
in a coarsemeshed net.  
"Do you like butterflies?", I never asked.  
Supper, my school-day, the TV  
all of more importance, knowing you  
only implicit in your rose-pricked arms,  
your years of diligence and now-noble wrinkles.  
Are they noble still?  
Are you?  
I never scattered your ashes.  
Instead, I tucked them in a neat marble urn,  
in a neat dugout, planted under a tree.  
To grow again. Amongst dirt and dust, graveworms, ashes rot.  
You never were a lamb. Yet your slaughter came  
by impurity of profession, infection, rot, rot,  
we all rot. Never to grow again.  
Never to be whole again.  


feedback 1: https://oc.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7b3tk6/late_night_show/dpgr07r/  
feedback 2: https://oc.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7bepgu/no_great_art/dpiu6d8/

A diary I never wrote