HLHLHL•

I knew a joke about the Jones Town massacre but I forgot it ... because the punch line was too long.

103
lazerdave•

I wish I could upvote you more than once!

0
[deleted]•

I wish I could hate when people say this more than once.

2
lazerdave•

I've never said it before, though. So, nyahhhhhh!

0
clintisiceman•

Well that certainly excuses it!

0
machupichu•

Hurry, your time is about to expire.

-2
MrSt1klbak•

yeah, lay down that joke with some dignity.

4
thewaywardson•

My mother and uncle (both Guyanese) met Jim Jones when he came to Guyana and founded this cult. They met him when he came to my grandfathers business in Georgetown where he sold them stuff like beds, fans, etc.

I also have another uncle in Guyana who helped with the moving of the bodies.

Anyway, that's my claim to fame.

25
nmcyall•

LOL, your whole family is complicit!

3
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
wonderworm•

Murdered is much more accurate. Everyone was surrounded by armed guards to ensure noone ran away. They also found needle holes on the necks of the adults who refused to drink the koolaid and over 300 of the victims were children who obviously cannot make a decision to suicide.

Beware: Join an organized religion. Get murdered or molested by your preacher. At the very least you will end up screwing up your ability to perform logical and rational thinking for the rest of your life.

15
[deleted]•

RTFA. Jim Jones was an atheist and preached communism.

Insanity comes to all people regardless of supernatural belief.

20
DiarrheaMonkey•

Thank you. I don't know how incompetent the local medical authority would have to be to mis-classify having drunk poison as needle wounds, as well as some gunshot wounds.

Also I saw a totally official-story type documentary and even in that, one survivor wonders, at the time suicide was being rejected by most of the adults (there's tape of that), "Where'd all these guys with guns come from?"

Leo Ryan thought is was a CIA mind control op, Jones had previously worked with lab monkeys, his early financial success is unexplained and he met with Mayor Moscone shortly before his assassination. His broken family background, emotional issues and natural charisma made him an ideal asset.

6
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
Snowspot•

All religions are stupid, spirituality is bullshit. It's all fake, there is no truth to any religion except maybe it's morals and in most faiths the rules can be bent. Religious ideology is dangerous and fake, maybe you need to think rationally.

Then again, some people are so stupid that the only thing that keeps them a good person is staying religious.

-8
[deleted]•

How can you claim to know of truth?
The closest we can get is versimilitude, a mere shadow of the truth

8
starthirteen•

Saying any moral holds inherent truth is the acknowledgement of at least some kind of higher power. Then again, saying there is no absolute truth is in itself an absolute.

6
Snowspot•

I think you're both idiots. Wow you both sound so intellectual, I like the use of the word verisimilitude for no apparent reason, nice one there. A shadow of truth, how poetic.

Regardless though. Religion is bullshit and until someone proves otherwise, I'm taking my downvotes with a grain of salt.

2
[deleted]•

[deleted]

0
clintisiceman•

Some people were actually shot. Leo Ryan became the first United States Congressman to be murdered overseas on official government business.

1
lifeat24fps•

The day before the Star Wars Holiday Special aired for the first and last time. Hmmmm....

14
scrumpydoo23•

This day 701 years ago William Tell, a legendary marksman in Switzerland, is said to have successfully shot an apple on his son's head with a single bolt from his crossbow.

11
byronsucks•

Sounds like a William S. Burroughs story.

8
thedeevolution•

I still don't get how the fuck he didn't go to jail for that. Especially since he was high as a kite when he did it.

1
glengyron•

He probably was begging to go to jail for the sodomy and dangerous drugs to the point that they punished him with freedom.

1
MyPantsAreWet•

Wasn't it 4000 years ago and he was riding a velociraptor?

-1
buddaslovehandles•

So, the next Saturday Night Live Weekend Update, a stern faced (Dan Akroyd?) begins to read about a KoolAid recall. The audience starts booing. Dan(?) pauses, rips up his card, tosses it, and moves on.

9
Benzona•

"Oh, yeah!"

9
greyjay•

I'm far from well-versed on the subject, but I'm curious why I've never heard about a conspiracy theory surrounding the Jonestown massacre. When 918 US Government dissidents die in a foreign country, with a majority of documents still remaining classified, you usually find a fair amount of, "Wake up sheeple!" surrounding.

8
ziegfried•

Back then people knew that conspiracies were impossible and that whatever you saw on tv was by definition true.

People seem to have forgotten that today.

3
pappy•

Downvoted for repeating the suicide lie.

6
[deleted]•
5
byronsucks•

They didn't even get a pair of Nikes.

5
[deleted]•

...or bowl cuts and castration.

3
[deleted]•

[deleted]

2
peewinkle•
4
aperson•

I am going to make a batch of Kool-aid just for today.

3
fruitbaticus•

Flavour Aid

5
aperson•

Sugar water is sugar water.

3
[deleted]•

[deleted]

10
[deleted]•

[deleted]

-7
lazerdave•

http://www.thejudys.com/ramfiles/washguyana.ram

There's a strange one in the jungle And I think I here him calling my name There's a strange one in the jungle And he's offering death without pain

Freshen up, freshen up, freshen up

There's a strange one in the jungle And he says that death need not hurt There's a strange one in the jungle He's got something to quench your thirst

Freshen up, freshen up, freshen up Freshen up, freshen up, freshen up

Guyana punch, uh-oh, uh-oh-oh Guyana punch, uh-oh, uh-oh-oh Guyana punch, uh-oh, uh-oh-oh Guyana punch, uh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooooh

There's a strange one in the jungle And he says that now is the time There's a strange one in the jungle Here come the planes, please form a straight line

Freshen up, freshen up, freshen up

There's a strange one in the jungle And he questions all that one thinks There's a strange one in the jungle With a new and exciting drink

Freshen up, freshen up, freshen up Freshen up, freshen up, freshen up

Guyana punch, uh-oh, uh-oh-oh Guyana punch, uh-oh, uh-oh-oh Guyana punch, uh-oh, uh-oh-oh Guyana punch, uh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooooh

Guyana punch, wuh-oh, wuh-oh, wuh-oh Guyana punch, wuh-oh, uh-oh-oh Guyana punch, uh-oh, uh-oh-oh Guyana punch, uh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooooh

There's a strange one in the jungle There's a strange one in the jungle There's a strange one in the jungle There's a strange one in the jungle

3
buddaslovehandles•

Thank you.

1
srv•

Alabama 3 lets Jim Jones speak in his own words:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpGgLyfDERI

Fantastic orator.

1
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
rancmeat•

Wow, 30 years. It seems like yesterday this happened.

Think of it, before Jonestown nobody talked about "drinking the Kooliad."

3
[deleted]•

drinking the Kooliad

Is that anything like the Iliad?

5
[deleted]•

What's even worse, i just found out it was not Kool-aid. It was Flavor-Aid. WTF is up with that. My whole world is turned upside down.

2
[deleted]•

[deleted]

2
D-StyleOP•

Indeed...:

Erroneous references to the mass suicide, in combination with existing references to The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test of the Merry Pranksters, gave rise to the saying "drinking the Kool-Aid" as a reference to those who blindly follow an authority even if it leads to serious harm or death.

Learned something new today.

Small correction: Many of them "were suicided" to keep it accurate.

2
ayamami•

for some reason this reminds me of a kurt vonnegut book.

2
MyPantsAreWet•

Cat's Cradle?

1
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
[deleted]•

[deleted]

2
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
[deleted]•

fuck everyone of those people. the poor children were murdered. calling that suicide is like pissing on the graves of those poor kids.

1