Source
r/legaladvice•
foooofly

Random curiosity: a friend of mine never got divorced

I have a friend who is bad at adulting, and so is his wife. They've been split for at least 20 years (he is now 46), 10 of which he's been living in another state. About every year or two she contacts him saying she wants to actually get the divorce paperwork done, because she wants to get married to someone else, or because she doesn't want her kid (fathered much later) to know about her previous marriage, etc ... but she never follows through. Obviously, my friend doesn't either.

Friend is a decent earner (low six figures), no gf/spouse, no kids of his own. If something happens to him, does his estranged, but still legal wife in FL get everything? Is she entitled to his SS benefits?

What other dumb pitfalls is he ignoring?

(No, I'm not going to argue with him about it, I've brought up before that it's a bad idea to let the marriage linger. Not my circus, not my monkeys. I'm just trainwreck-curious at this point.)

Posted Nov 20, 2017, 8:37 PM UTC · edited

09
caringexecutive•

If something happens to him, does his estranged, but still legal wife in FL get everything

Yes. For now.

Is she entitled to his SS benefits?

It is a possibility.

He really needs to actually get divorced. Even if for 20 years they've been filing as married filing separately, or for all we know lying on their taxes.

8
fooooflyOP•

He really needs to actually get divorced. Even if for 20 years they've been filing as married filing separately, or for all we know lying on their taxes.

Oh, he also didn't bother filing his taxes for most of that time. I believe he has now successfully filed for 2016 and 2015, may have paid a late filing penalty but since he never 'owed' he came out fairly unscathed. (Normal W2 employee his entire life and I'm sure claiming 0 deductions.) That said, I'm sure they both file Single, because that sounds like what you do when you're too lazy to get divorced. Just guessing.

3
caringexecutive•

Yeah I mean that's a whole other boondoggle to deal with.

He needs to get formally divorced otherwise in the future this will get ridiculously messy.

3
Internet_GhostQuality Contributor•

I'm guessing your friend is so lazy that if he won't get a damn divorce he's probably never gotten a will, either. If that's the case, then wife would get her intestate share of his estate. She would also have a claim to 20+ damn years of marital property they've been accumulating as a married a couple. She would be entitled to survivor benefits of his social security. She'd likely get a share of any retirement accounts, or insurance policies that he hasn't specifically named any beneficiaries on. But perhaps the biggest dick move of all is that he's keeping his wife from getting married to the guy she's with, keeping her from getting all the stuff from him and being able to file a loss of consortium claim if her boyfriend ever dies.

Your friend needs to stop being a moron and get a divorce. It's not that hard. He's just lazy.

7
fooooflyOP•

But perhaps the biggest dick move of all is that he's keeping his wife from getting married to the guy she's with, keeping her from getting all the stuff from him and being able to file a loss of consortium claim if her boyfriend ever dies.

To be more specific, wife contacts him and says she has the paperwork and will send it to him to sign if he agrees to pay half of the divorce costs. He agrees. Then she never sends the paperwork. This has happened at least five times that I'm aware of. That's all I know.

This doesn't make him not lazy, just wanted to emphasize that he's not blocking or withholding a divorce.

2
caringexecutive•

I mean, this isn't a one way street...he's free to begin the process and have her served too.

6
fooooflyOP•

100% agree.

1
Internet_GhostQuality Contributor•

Either way, it's stupid to not get divorced. Doing this and not properly probating a person's estate is by far the dumbest move legally speaking that have the furthest reaching consequences.

4
wanderingdev•

Without a will, she gets it all.

4