RECAP AND PICTURES (finally)!! 9.16.17 barn wedding ❤

For those who don't care about a wall of text, photos can be found here: https://imgur.com/a/aCasn

(Also narrowing down pics was HARD, so if there's anything you want to see more of let me know!)

Basics

• Invited 210, attended approximately 160 (our invite list included a possible +1 for every single person over 18, most single people just came single!)

• Total cost – approximately 20,000ish (not including honeymoon)

• Venue – my relative’s farm/barn in southeast Michigan (the farm has been in my dad’s side of the family for over 120 years!!)

• Timeline – 9am girls get ready / boys set up chairs then get ready, 1pm photographer arrived / “getting ready” photos, 2pm first look followed by wedding party photos, 4:30 ceremony, 6pm reception in barn – there was no planned end time but we left around 10:30. I expected it to go later (and the party was technically still going) but my husband and I were BEAT. The wedding party and our families stuck around to clean up for a while after. Love them so much!

Budget Breakdown (slight approximations because my husband and I only paid 1/3 of everything and didn’t get exact numbers from our parents)

• Venue – “free” (but my parents and in-laws both gave VERY generous thank you checks, lol)

• Catering - $3000 plus tip

• Alcohol -$1000 (we ran out of almost everything, oops)

• Cake - $400 ($40 cake topper, $10 cake for cutting, $0.75 per cake ball – we had lots leftover but they didn’t go to waste!!)

• Lighting and draping - $4000 (my mother-in-law insisted on this and the price really shocked me but oh my gosh it was so so so pretty, I can’t thank her ENOUGH)

• Dress + alterations - $2300 (Halo gown by Hayley Paige!!)

• Bride’s accessories/beauty - $300 (veil, earrings, shoes, slip, underwear, garter, hair, makeup)

• Groom’s outfit - $400 (suit, shirt, shoes, tie, suspenders, socks - all purchased, not rented)

• Rings - $1000 (groom’s was $30 off Amazon and he LOVES it – no regrets)

• Gifts - $1000 (bridal party and parents; we also bought the boys ties, suspenders, and shirts)

• Photographer - $2300 (8 hours, 2 shooters, also included engagement photos)

• Flowers - $1600 (was originally much cheaper, more on this later)

• Rentals - $1500 (tables, chairs, linens)

• DJ - $500

• Bartender - $150 (we also let her have a tip jar and it looked like she made bank!!)

• Officiant - $225

• Acoustic guitar for ceremony - $150

• Invitations/postage - $200

• Misc décor – no clue… (My in-laws bought and made a lot of random things, as did we. The trick here is to just get things all throughout the process so it doesn’t end up being a huge expense close to the big day. We were also able to sell lots of things after and/or use them in our own home)

What went wrong (honestly, not much at ALL, but here are the few things even worth mentioning)

• Doing everything from scratch / not at a real venue is A LOT OF WORK. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone, lol.

• The week leading up to the wedding I did not sleep or eat hardly at all (I lost 5 pounds in 3 days – eek!). I wish I had advice on how to sleep but no luck. I tried taking sleeping pills and they helped me fall asleep, but not STAY asleep. On wedding night my husband zonked out immediately but I was still running on adrenaline! The following night I finally crashed and slept almost 12 hours.

• Hurricane Harvey really screwed with our flowers. Our florist emailed me the Monday of wedding week saying she typically got flowers out of Florida, so everything would have to change and the price was going to increase. She was still able to get baby’s breath but the rest she just improvised (she knew I wanted all white with greenery). The price almost doubled but thankfully this was one of the things my in-laws were paying for and they didn’t bat an eye. I didn’t particularly love my bouquet but EVERYTHING else I did love, so it’s all good. The arbor was hands down my favorite flower setup. Ugh so pretty. Essentially this whole situation was an added stressor but it worked out fine!!

• My poor niece (one of three flower girls) woke up sick on wedding day. She had croup and was coughing a lot. Luckily I work at an urgent care so I was able to text some work friends and get her in quick to be seen. My mom took her and after a breathing treatment, she was ready to rock! My poor sister (her mom and a bridesmaid) was pretty stressed out over it, but in the end, it didn’t effect the day too much!

• Supposedly the guitarist was bad. I wasn’t there to hear most of it and to be honest, I didn’t even notice his playing at ALL when I walked down the aisle. I was way too focused on my adorable husband tearing up.

• The barn was stupidly hot. The weather as a whole was pretty awesome. Definitely warmer than usual for September in Michigan but outdoors it was comfortable. I just wish the barn hadn’t been so toasty! A lot of guests stayed outside to mingle after dinner and we didn’t think to set up a speaker pointing out of the barn, so they missed a lot of announcements for stuff like the first dances/bouquet and garter tosses, etc.

• A BAT flew out from behind the DJ during the father/daughter dance! Although, this really could be a ‘what went right!’ I was SOBBING during the dance after trying to choke back tears the whole day. The song was almost over when this happened and I just bust out laughing. It was the perfect transition to lighten the mood. Our family friend even got the whole thing on video. I will never forget that moment!!

• My husband got a little overzealous with the cake. He covered my entire face so I pretty much had to wipe all my makeup off after that. Luckily he’s too damn cute to be mad at. It wouldn’t hurt to maybe have a chat with your future spouse on what you’re doing with the cake...or at least plan it as a later activity so the pictures are done!

What went right:

• Literally EVERYTHING else. As you can see, even the bad things turned out mostly good! I could go on and on about how perfect our day was. I was mentally prepared for something horrible. I had been saying for 9 months it was bound to pour on our wedding day but the weather was stunning. The “toy story clouds” as I called them, were one of my absolute favorite things!!

• For anyone torn on a first look – DO IT. It was one of the best parts of the day. I will never forget sitting in the photographer’s car, literally shaking from excitement as I watched her position my soon to be husband. I loved getting all the pictures done before the ceremony, so we only had to worry about family photos after (which were a total hot mess, so luckily that was ALL we had to do). The first look didn’t ruin the ceremony moment AT ALL. If anything, it made it so that I didn’t completely sob like a freaking crazy person. I was still teary the entire ceremony and could barely choke out my vows. The emotions were all there because of the significance of the moment itself. It doesn’t matter if you saw your person 10 minutes prior; when you’re saying “I do,” everything changes.

• We gave my husband’s phone to the best man’s girlfriend while we did photos. She got some really awesome shots and I was super grateful to have them to tide me over while we waited for the professional ones! I highly recommend doing this! (Also consider asking them to take videos of the big moments! I really wish I had thought of this).

• My cousin offered to be our day of coordinator and she was a blessing from the heavens. She paid all our vendors and I gave her the timeline with a pretty hefty to-do list. She did such a great job and seemed to really enjoy being the boss! We sent her a generous gift card with a thank you note but this was still much cheaper than hiring someone!

• I had all five of my nieces and nephews in the wedding and they freaking rocked it. I still can’t believe we didn’t have a single meltdown. They looked SO adorable and I can’t get over all their fun and sweet expressions in all the pictures. PSA for those having small kids in wedding – marshmallows work GREAT as rewards! They’re quiet and non-messy. Highly recommend!

• The speeches were AMAZING.  The best man and maid of honor both killed it. My best friend seriously put tears in my eyes. (I only wish we had someone record these on video!!)

• My husband and I did a really good job with the “invisible handcuffs.” Every once in awhile he would disappear to take more shots with his friends, lol, but I always found him shortly after. I highly recommend making a point to stay with your person the whole night.

• We chose to take our honeymoon two weeks after the wedding and I highly recommend it! One week would’ve been ideal but we chose a specific cruise and that’s how the dates fell. Giving ourselves time to unwind after the wedding, sort through gifts, etc was amazing. Plus we had plenty of time to devote to packing.  I wish we would’ve gotten thank you notes done in this timeframe, but that definitely didn’t happen.

Final thoughts

• If you are anything like me (over-planner, detail-oriented, anal crazy person), feel free to plan everything down to the minute but on the day of LET IT GO. Have your timelines, to-do lists, etc and give them to someone else! I told myself that if something went wrong, it would get sorted out – and sure enough, it all did. Supposedly the chairs were all super dirty when they were delivered, but they got wiped down by someone, so WHO CARES. Supposedly we ran out of alcohol, but I had NO CLUE because my brother was sent to buy more. I’m sure there are a million other things like this but I don’t know and it doesn’t matter! My cousin/coordinator dealt with a lot of stuff and I’m eternally grateful for her. Just remember to be happy and enjoy the day. You put so much time and effort into planning a wedding, be sure to ENJOY IT.

• It really was the best day of my life. It was a long and tiring process but looking back now, I would LOVE to live it a million times over. Soak it all in. It really does fly by. But luckily, when it’s all over, you get a lifetime with your person :)