There was gin on his chin and—

I like the conciseness as well. The first line is my favorite part, such a good description of awkward sex. I agree with gangster about the title as well; going in I was expecting something different.

I like this a lot. Going from paying to your drink to already on top to perfect love poem conveys a sense of abruptness that comes with these encounters far too many times. It’s a cold poem because it has to be. I agree with the others that the title should be toyed with a bit because it’s just a placeholder at this point. Also a line of dialogue in the beginning to see how we got here could be an interesting addition.

I really think you should extend the idea you want to convey in your poem. I'd really love to read more of the same.

Nah, no extension is needed. This poem is fairly done. I like the implicit "this moment makes for* the perfect love poem." I p much agree. I think line 1 is a little cliched and the title uses rhyme where the poem is otherwise devoid of it, but otherwise a super solid, quaint piece. Maybe a slight title adjustment would be a good change.