Hi, thanks for your comment. I'm quite new to Reddit so I could not post it in the format I envisaged it to be. However, I use the idea of the many line breaks, especially in this particular poem, to elicit a sense of frustration even from the reader that the person in the ending, continues to be stubborn. Although I have experimented with the conventional meter and rhyming, I personally prefer free verse as it lets you roam freely on the message you want to convey.
I also digress when it comes to my perspective, to make the reader engage more with the writing, but as I've said, I'm not used to the format of Reddit unfortunately. Then I sum up what I wanted to say regarding the groups of people, thinking that the poem has finished but leaving a twist in the end. 

Again, I appreciate your comment and your view.




There are so many line breaks, they detract from what would be a natural meter (iambic pentameter perhaps). Also I feel like this poem does a little too much telling rather than showing, to the point that narrative loses its significance and direction. 

X people did this, Y people did that-that's a fair statement and opener, why segue into wondering if 'you' did the correct thing? why introduce your perspective at all?

'We all did this thing'-ok, another perspective that I feel is unnecessary, this poem opens with the top down perspective of people, I don't see the reason to introduce the first person or the collective, and I think this drifting of perspectives muddies the narrative. 

I think this poem could be cleaned up if you chopped the first person and the collective perspective, and just maintained a top down, omniscient narrator. 

>We all survived and grew

>Like flowers in the sun

Maybe choose some more exciting similes - the whole poem is pretty hackneyed. As someone else pointed out, the line breaks (especially at the end) don't really seem like they're adding anything to the poem, and just make it read like a string of disconnected words. Also, the whole thing is a little prosaic - poetry doesn't need to be particularly metrically rigid, but it should at least have some metrical component that justifies the use of verse.

As such it’s open ended, it could be nature, God, whatever you like. Appreciate.

very relatable heart filled poem. In this poem is the sun supposed to represent anything? god perhaps?

Watching my former schoolmates
now that a good 5 years or so have passed 
is remarkable  

You find different people evolve into 
different classes


You see students who were goofs
turn into prodigies


Then you see the ones who
were always considered to have
a lot of potential 
washed by the tide that is 
society


But they 
still 
Battle


I hope I am of the former class


All in all
we all survived and grew
like flowers in the sun


But there are some 
who keep being
Stubborn
To the sun’s advice


When will spring come 
to your 
hollow 
heart?


When 
will 
you 
blossom,

Friend?


https://oc.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7qa63s/anthills/dstx6p0/
https://oc.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7qht1w/i_quit/dstvz7x/

A Few Years By