I have been experimenting a lot recently and have been questioning what a poem should do and what I should set out to accomplish when writing one. Along those lines, your comment is immensely valuable to me(and not rude at all). Thanks for the critique :)

I like it, but there's one problem. It's going to sound a bit rude, although it's the best way to put it: 

Why should we care? 

What you have you got here that we as the readers should be invested in? - whether that be emotionally or conceptionally or another '-ally' that I haven't thought of. It's a short sweet, beautiful read, but it hasn't got anything that gets me hooked in. I think you need a bite or a contradiction, something that asks to be read again and again.

I hope this has helped :) 

I agree with your suggestions and made edits to my personal version. I'll keep what you said in mind. Thanks for the critique :) 

in a poem this short, you need to cut *anything* not doing something special.  

I say:  
>cut the second calling  
>cut first 'the'
>not sold on 'distant'  

otherwise this is p solid for how short it is, writing something like this, it's hard to avoid sounding silly when you're trying to be deep, but i think this works


I will let you know if I expand it but I don't plan on it right now. Thanks for your comment :) 

It is random thoughts that are sometimes the sources of really good ideas. I am sure your purpose for this was for it to be brief, but it would be really interesting to see it expanded.

Interesting suggestion; I'll think about it. Thanks for the comment :)

Okay, I don't really know if this would "work" or really do anything in the way of what you intended with the poem, but what do you think of affixing a comma to the final *'calling'* as well? (Sounds stupid but I feel like ending the poem "unfinished" would just make it... feel nice, maybe? and perhaps mesh nicely with the idea of 'distant' sounds and feelings. This isn't really critique though)

I'll think about what you said and let you know if I expand it. Thanks for the comment :)

I love short poems, so big ups for that. 
It works, it brings the thought and the feeling. 

The only tip I could give you is, with a poem this short, make the title short as well. 

The title is almost as long as the entire poem. Makes it look a bit unnatural. 

I would love to see this being expended into a bigger poem tho, let me know if you ever do!

Thanks for the positivity, I appreciate it :)

I think this is beautiful. You create an environment in such a short verse which is impressive. I also like the repeated “calling” which seems to ‘elongate’ the poem, as if the words are forced to echo in the readers mind.

Keep writing 

    The soft wailing of engines—  
      the sunset cries of distant children  
         calling,  
    calling  

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[Melancholic Chronic](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7r00rg/melancholic_chronic/dsufho0/)

Thought from a dream drunken afternoon walk