My BF dropped acid/LSD (for the 2nd time) and made some art that just might change his life.
My long-term partner's entire life has been full of dissociation, fear, guilt, shame, stress, confusion, pain, and anxiety. And the sense of hopelessness kept it all around forever, never letting him escape, and controlling every aspect of his life. Keeping him from the hobbies he loves, and the contentment he deserves. This kills me because I can see the good, the light, the beauty inside of him. Some days it comes out, other days it is obliterated by his own internal war.
He decided to drop some acid recently (for the second time) and create some more art. It was the only thing that would let him do so without feeling like a failure. He wasn't sure what would come of it, but he did it. A couple days later he was looking at it, and broke down and started doing research to figure out what "was wrong" with him. This lead him to finally discovering answers to everything that had made him feel so alone and broken for a majority of his life: Complex PTSD.
He finally understands that he is not alone and that there are tools at his disposal to learn how to change his life for the better. He is taking action, he is fighting, and for the first time in a long time -- I noticed a glimpse of hope.
In looking at his art, I really feel like I can see into everything that has been tormenting him.
#Art: https://i.imgur.com/lcj0EN3.jpg
To me, this is a fantastic breakthrough. I am eager, excited, and overcome with emotion! I honestly don't think he ever would have let himself illustrate this kind of pain from so deep within himself if it weren't for the LSD. Since his discovery, I've done a bunch of research on C-PTSD, and it has helped me to understand so much more about him and others. I am incredibly hopeful and thankful, and even though it may hurt him deeply to look at this art-- I think it will allow him to finally heal.
I've always believed in the power of LSD; it's ability to let you see the world from a different perspective. It really is wonderful to be able to step outside of yourself for a little bit. You spend every waking moment in that freakin' place.
I hope this will allow him some peace.
Because C-PTSD is common and impossibly difficult to live with, I wanted to share some resources for any of you who may also suffer from it (or are looking for answers).
Here are some links about Complex PTSD:
- Dissociation - https://ptsdawayout.com/dissociation/
- Complex PTSD - https://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/PTSD-overview/complex-ptsd.asp
- The Living Nightmare - https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/vdxjn8/worse-than-ptsd-the-nightmare-of-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder
Be strong, my friends. (And thanks for reading.) #Love those around you who cannot love themselves.
Edit: Here's a link to his prior LSD art. https://www.reddit.com/r/Drugs/comments/14y1hk/so_my_boyfriend_dropped_acid_last_night_for_the/?ref=share&ref_source=link
Posted Jan 18, 2018, 7:05 PM UTC · edited
I love this
(sorry for the short comment)
Me too!