Source
r/OCPoetry•
trynasaur

Some sins

Feedback Received!

“How are you more Catholic
Than me?”
My wife shouts
To me from down the hall.
This after I’ve explain to her
How I am motivated primarily
By a loose fear of God.
I haven’t been to
Church in 22 years,
But everything I touch
Is measured in sin.
It must be in my DNA.
Every good Catholic
I’ve ever known is so
Fucking melodramatic.
They think that they
Carry the cross with
The Son of God every
Day they wake.
Lug. Lug. Lug.
My heavy Catholic feet
Shuffle down the hall.
“Sorry” I say back
To my wife.
And I am truly sorry
For no reason at all,
And for every reason.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7skrp7/killing_monsters/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7snobd/catch22_gift/

Posted Jan 25, 2018, 1:02 AM UTC

149
mayah_playah•

I love it. Being a lapsed Catholic is one of the more difficult, yet simple crosses to beat, if you'll forgive the pun.

3
withteeth08•

Love the end (it has a punch). Don't love the "F" word, I just feel it makes otherwise great writing seem cheap. Thanks for sharing.

1
ParadiseEngineer•

'Fuck' is the most versatile word in the English language! I think the idea that you shouldn't use swearing or slang in poetry in an endlessly boring hang up of poet's that just need to say 'I FUCKING LOVE YOU' more often.

3
paul_brennans_ghost•

This is so powerful to me. Every emotion of religious guilt is really well-expressed by not only description but also the "weight" each line carries due to their brevity. The first lines are a little distracting (i don't know why they would be arguing about which of them is more Catholic) but it hardly takes away from the rest of the poem. The use of onomatopoeia was a bit surprising and i felt like it took away from the flow of thoughts we get from the speaker, but again, the problem feels minuscule. Overall, I loved it.

1
MidnightPoesy•

The ending is really nice. There is a proper tone and a sense of bitter truth which gives the poem an edge.

1
ParadiseEngineer•

Considered making the first line the title?

Top marks! You've displayed how it clicks, the childish cult of religion, that moment when you think: isn't this all a bit odd? I loved it, keep up the good work :D

1
who_let_the_cats_in•

Yes, I enjoyed perceiving this. Attending church by visiting the building, and/or (even versus) practicing a religion alone can have many variables when considering how connected one may or may not be to their faith. I get an impression that gives a good insight on how this particular religion considers one faithful... inimitably or scarcity.

1
ViciousGoof•

The first part didn't click with me but when I got till the end of it I realized it has a really good motion to it, it needs to be perfected of course, but I really like the general rhythm I got while reading it.

1
Arianalaparis•

I was raised Catholic but never identified with any particular religion. To be honest if I were to choose a religion I would choose Judaism. This reminds me of going to church surrounded by all these people who acted like religion was the entire point of living

0