Haha the Kirk flow, I see it. Yeah, this poem is a bit of a puzzle -- I give a couple hints but they are not too easy to see if you don't know Where to look.

I’m not sure I grasp what this is about necessarily but I enjoyed it. I like the pattern, and although I did not feel much rhythm or flow to it, it had this William Shatner as Captain Kirk vibe. In my mind, while reading, there were many heavy pauses, at odd times, and due to the formatting, there were inconsistencies to the rhythm. Whether or not that was intended, I like it a lot. It seems a very “spoken-word” style, and some of the language you choose has a very noir style to it. Also, “I’ve got a hole in my wallaby boot” is just a good line.

This is amusing!  Very James Joyce if I had to compare it.  I too have holes in my Wallaby boots. (probably)

I enjoyed the formatting, I think the best part of poetry is not always following standard rules and coming up with your own. Keep at it. 

Would love to see this turned into an actual advertisement on tv! I'll have to keep looking for the hints if I have enough time

SUNDAY, AD