I got you. I will take you're feedback into consideration!

I like the feeling behind this poem and the short sentences that bounce back and forth. However, a lot of these rhymes seem forced like behind/unconfined or season/treason and they make these lines stick out and they don't add much to the overall imagery of the poem.

I could definitely do that... Thanks for you're input, really helps!

I love the message of this poem and all the ins and outs of love but I felt like I kind of got lost going from line to line. Maybe add more to the lines to make it more of a clear image and a better flow. 

Thanks... The short-sentences was probably overused. I will keep that in mind. Again, thanks!

I think the inconsistent rhyming scheme really helps with the setting of love, as it itself is unpredictable. Good job!

P.S, short sentences are more effective when they are rare. Try not to overuse them!

I agree with you, the commas should be placed better. I try to learn everyday, so this helps :=)

I like the message but I feel like it would read smoother if you combined a couple of the lines together with a short line in between. And not to be presumptuous regarding punctuation but would the comma be better before treason and after you in the last line? Maybe I'm just reading it wrong? Keep up the good work.

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Peace in mind,

Forgetting time,

Love can really,

make you blind,

All sorrow,

Of mankind,

Leaving you behind,

So much cryin’,

It’s unconfined,

Leaving with a peace of mind,

Once poisoned,

Now refined,

For better or worse,

Love will find,

A reason,

To come out,

In every season,

Even when you’ve tried,

 to commit it treason,

Love is kind,

No need to,

Unreason,

Put it on a pedestal,

Let the beacon,

Show,

Hold it tight,

Make it grow,

Take your time out,

To unfold,

Your hearts desires,

You I will admire,


https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7wouxb/introspection/?st=jdj5k8xo&amp;sh=9daa1049

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7wumkm/sitting_across_the_ocean/?utm_content=title&amp;utm_medium=hot&amp;utm_source=reddit&amp;utm_name=OCPoetry


Peace of mind