three Dialogues with Houseplants
#1 Yucca
Full of nothing. Nothing
hidden in this place. Don't bother looking.
Take my Yucca. Not much
good without much sunlight.
It would have been a masterpiece in its day.
Now, its leaves just bend, starved, browning.
Can I tell ya something? What's your -- right, no names. Well, "buddy", you find out who your real friends are on moving day. Nobody came through for me. I bought the Yucca. No more moving days anymore, eh? Just taking days.
Nobody here to tote my furniture. Nobody here to tell you not to rob someone. Crime doesn't pay. "Buddy." Me neither.
Take what you want, I'm going back to bed. Nobody's around anyway.
Nothing in this place.
#2 Succulents A Seussian masterpiece. Thick odd leaves, like juicy defenseless cacti. Sounds like they'd taste great but it's just apply-textured leafsquirt. A crunchy, celerious snack. As soon as you bite, it sucks alla the moisture right outta your mouth, like when you shine a flashlight in a dirty room and the roaches zip into whatever hidden corner roaches live in.
The succulent gets the last laugh. But we can leave them on the curb here near the dumpster whenever we like. Or resort to cannibalism. Send help. Tell mom I love her. She's probably already dead. I'm so hungry.
#3 Philodendron
We could sew
these broad leaves together,
make loincloths. Like in the Pieta.
Any good Rennaisance masterpiece has hidden parts
beneath a leaf.
I know fig leaves are big, but these are bigger,
why not flatter ourselves?
The curtains don't shade
half as well as these broad leaves.
The stems could be coached into rounder shapes
for a bassinet to hold our kids.
The pot's no good as a bucket -- the holes.
The earth? If it's left,
we could empty it into a garden,
grow apples, lemons, saffron trees.
Does saffron grow on trees? Never
you mind, we'll have a feast.
The wind blows frost through my lashes. You haven't moved in an hour.
Posted Feb 20, 2018, 4:59 PM UTC
Yucca doesn't do anything for me. I'm not sure if it's trying to be funny or what, but the moving day thing and general tone strikes me as part of some sitcom. Though, I think I'm missing something in relation to the parts about stealing. I'm not sure what's going on there or how it relates to the "nothing" lines.
Succulents (I had to Google what these were, and they're adorable is what they are.) I like more. The roaches image is good, and the narrator doesn't come across as annoying like in Yucca. But the jump to cannibalism loses me. Is this person just really hungry, and that's why they tasted the succulents? Are they meant to have the munchies? I'm not sure whether the "pot" in Philodendron is an actual pot or weed.
Philodendron is my favorite. It's got this kinda stream of consciousness thing going that's enjoyable to read. The only part I'm stumbling on is, again, the pot sentence. Why would a bucket be needed? What pot? Why are there holes in it? I'm thinking it's weed given the hunger in Succulents and the final line about not moving. But either way, I can't make sense of the sentence.