eternities between moments

I like your discourse into the freudian id and ego. The pacing is also really nice. However, and this is a personal opinion, I find myself a little confused by the last two lines. I see what you're trying to do, playing with genre by questioning the prose-poetic nature of the poem. It seems like a great question to have, and a great discourse to explore, but I wonder if this is the right poem to do so in. Perhaps this meta-commentary is best saved for another poem that deals more with questions of genre.

Again, personal opinion.

I like it but I am trying to get it because it feels like there is a lot here. I was hoping for victory over ego some how as I started and I was deflated by the end. I've read it 3 times and I am a little wishful for a better end but I think that end is the best.

The shape and sound makes sense to me and the emotion is the best. This was a great story caught up in a poem like a moment should be.

Thanks for sharing, I wish I had some more sound critiques for you, this was cool. Buen sueño.

I want to know the ego's response! But I think I'm supposed to be left wanting that, aren't I.

I love the idea of having a conversation with your ego; the visuals, like smirking, a steely stare, standing face-to-face, add a nice dimension to that concept. And I absolutely understand the argument, because I've had it with myself, too. Great work, I enjoyed it a lot.

I think I agree with Botenmango, that while the last two lines are really cool, they feel a little out of place in this poem. Ending on "silent" might be stronger.

Howdy, I'm of course reading what I find so I can source it to my own work which I'm scared to publish. I admire you for doing so, truly. I see the Freudian discourse or so I think. I'm confused as to who the "you" is in this persona or if it's actually both egos fighting it out? If so, the imagery I got was profound but I've put myself in your shoes fighting my own ego plenty before. Like others mentioned before I think the ending is too contrite with all the stuff you had going on prior. This seems like it should've been left more open ended, as if the closure of this story is itself the fault. Again, this is just my opinion.

In queue with many of the comments I've read already, I believe that you have, quite masterfully, internal conflict as a notion. This proves itself not only clear, but as for myself, relatable, I could really not quite express how much it is that I feel identified with the contents of what you present here. However, I would advice further checking upon your own word choices, but in an attempt of reaching further minimalism which I'm thinking could help you produce more wonderful pieces.