First time posting, a poem I [M19] wrote to the girl I am in love with. Any feedback/criticisms would be real helpful, thanks

You know her from the carnal inclinations of your heart. Wet burn basting lasted exhalations, breath scent in scenic team, together again at last. Recognisable fable, from childhood coffee table, the story of your mother from your father’s feet, towering ballad of imperfect fallacy seemingly positioned to be pointed to you. The bedroom greeting, boardroom meeting, her in exponential growth in your fiscal self. Health is other people, oestrogen supplements supplied with good-mornings in the afternoon, the tune of repetitious resurrection resounding religiously. Psalms one to infinity, me to her, my cosmic garden a guaranteed growth. Her, Towering and terrifying in terrific solidity. Solemnly pensive to the point of perfection, loud in crowded silences, impeding the bedroom portal her bedroom with you, mortal in the wake of forever, taking little infinity, burnt by cosmic waves of instinctual saviour. sunning soundly in her garden state.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7zxngi/i_woke_up_crying_again/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7zv12b/cascade/