Conflicted and confused (m/19 f/18)

Me and my girlfriend have had problems for the two years we’ve been dating We’ve broken up and gotten back together many times. But none felt like it was truly over except for the past time last fall. That time we got back together she had matured into a independent and strong woman. But now she’s back to being codependent on me and people around her to be happy. I’m a horrible counselor because I feel that you can choose to be happy and it’s about how you approach problems. When I try to help she gets hurt more because I tell her how to act or what to change in herself to make the situation better. I just want the strong and independent woman that had me feeling so happy and hopeful back. But I don’t know how to help her find that again and my best idea is that she’d be better with out me.

The only problem with this is that being apart feels so wrong for both of us. We have a mutual feeling that we belong together. Yet we fight over finances and politics and almost all things. I don’t know what we should do, we’ve talked about it the past week and we peacefully broke up yesterday but we both agree it feels like it’s the wrong decision so we’re meeting tonight to talk about it.

Does anyone have any input? Thinking with logic we’re young and there’s more out there but thinking with my heart all I want is her even if I know fighting and toxicity is inevitable.

Edit: She’ll be graduating in May and when I left highschool last year I matured and grew the most. Is it wrong to treat this like the stock market and invest in this relationship more hoping that it’ll get better down the road? Also, the past months I’ve tried changing how I help and how we communicate but i can only do so much and feel like if things were to work in the long run she’d need to change a bit too.