Me [21F] with my parents [50s M & 50s F]. I am very afraid of moving back home after college to live with them. How can I approach this with them to make life at home more bearable?

I am a senior about to graduate from college and move back home. I am dreading moving home because my parents are very, very strict. I want to find a way to tell my parents and communicate to them that living with them is difficult for me, without causing my situation to get even worse. My goal would be communicating to them in such a way that would make living under the same roof to be less toxic. I need to give a lot of context in this post so any advice can be best tailored to my situation.

I am what could be described as "high-functioning" on the spectrum (professional diagnosis). I was only diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome / Autism a few years ago, but I believe my parents have been abusing me and controlling me my entire life. They have assumed full control over my life since they pay for college and will resume controlling my life on a micromanaging level when I move back home. They don't let me do anything that they (mostly my mom) have deemed inappropriate, such as go to concerts or do anything really without jumping through a million hoops. I have a driver's license but I'm not allowed to drive their cars or buy my own car until I can buy a car up to their standards, which makes it an impossibility to ever drive well enough in their eyes to warrant being able to drive. I am also treated as a slave for doing housework. Chores are normal I know, but this is taken to the next level where any free time I have when I live at home is used on cleaning or other menial tasks, or else my mom says I don't "love and appreciate her."

I get screamed at for every little thing by my mom and anything you can think of is used as a threat when I live at home. For instance, recently my mom decided she was going to throw me a graduation party with my friends and family which was a kind offer. However, parties are stressful for me and I haven't spoken to my friends in a while so the idea of it made me anxious, so I told her I'll think about it, which is a normal and smart way to handle making decisions (my therapist suggested this method of asking for time to think when I'm unsure.) She flipped out though, screaming that I'm ungrateful and she doesn't understand why I wouldn't want to have a party and it's ridiculous that I need time to think. She then left muttering "maybe the jobs you're applying to aren't for you" (hinting at the fact that I need her for transportation).

She has also threatened to prevent me from going back to college after a break from school because she didn't like how I was dressed that day, she physically will block the door so I can't leave the house until I change. Even when I tell her, not asking her for permission because I'm 21 years old, just informing her, that I was invited to go somewhere, she treats it as though I asked if I can go, saying "that doesn't work for you" or "that's ridiculous and you can't go" and then prevents me from going. My parents are severely limiting my job search by saying that I can only apply to positions in a certain radius because "based on my ability I'll never be able to drive that far" (over 10-15 mins away) and throwing out a lot of companies I apply to for one reason or another.

I am in CBT therapy for my social issues from autism, however I can hardly get any help relative to my toxic household. My mom doesn't want me talking about any stuff related to my parents in my therapy or to my boyfriend. I tell my boyfriend anyway, which helps for emotional support. For therapy, it's hard to talk about because my mom asks me for every detail of what I said in my appointments. Due to having autism I have a strong black and white idea of lying so I have trouble keeping things to myself. If I refused to tell her anything or if she found out I spoke about her abuse she'd stop me from seeing the therapist anymore, so I can't tell him what's wrong because she'll ask me what I talked about.

The obvious solution is to move out. I know this. If they had their way, I'd be staying home 5-6 years after college, which yes would be financially smart, if my home life wasn't so bad. Somehow I got them to agree to letting me move out 1-year-ish after getting a job, as long as I live close to home. I plan to move out with my bf a year or so after getting a job, which considering what I detailed above, is a huge chore on it's own due to their opinions on what jobs I can have, outside the normal stresses of searching for your first full-time job. However, even though we agreed to this, I don't think I can make it even one year minimum in this type of housing conditions. I didn't even get into autistic-specific issues, but those are just as bad as everything else I wrote, such as how my dad doesn't believe they exist. Unfortunately, for a myriad of reasons including those detailed before, moving out right now is just not an option. Don't disagree with me on this. I know it is not possible. I have an extreme emotional attachment to my material objects (it's an autistic thing) and I am deathly afraid my parents will hide or break my things if I try to leave to early. They will also not give me my documents I need to move out, I don't have the financial resources yet without a job, and on top of that moving too early will destroy any chance of a good relationship in the future (remember our relationship is not toxic like this at all while I've lived away at college somehow... it was pretty good).

My only option outside of just dealing with everything is talking to them to see if I can come to an understanding with them. The problem is I have no idea how to approach the topic the right way. I've brought up issues with them in the past, and they usually doubt my point of view and gaslight me. Occasionally they have agreed to go to group counseling, but that entails my mom wildly spouting lies about how horrible of a daughter I am and victimizing herself greatly, which has always ended in the counselor telling me that I need to be better. There have been a few select issues in the past that my parents have worked on trying to be better, though, which makes me think it's possible and I just keep approaching it wrong.

Is there any way I can bring this up tot hem that will actually foster a respectful conversation with long-lasting effects that gives us a mutual understanding so I can have a better home life? How can I do so without making things worse than they already are? My boyfriend thinks maybe me talking to them with him in the room saying nothing could work, because they always act really nice around him and even value his thoughts more than mine sometimes. And also does he have any right to insert himself into the situation? Because he feels strongly that I have zero voice due to my abuse or power in the situation because of their monetary control over me, so leaving me to do it alone is near impossible. He may be able to communicate my thoughts in a clearer and more polite way than I am, because he is not autistic.

tl;dr - My parents are super over-controlling and fairly abusive and I'm afraid of leaving college to live back home. Moving out immediately is 1000% not an option which I know is the usual (and right) advice. How can I talk to them properly about my issues with my home life to make the situation better for me?