Hearing my favourite music has me quite lonely but also really happy at the same time.. It's a weird feeling

Like it feels like I should get rid of it but I can't because I'm happy.

So... Happy-Sad (lonely) is what I'm calling it.

Does anyone else get this too?

Anyways I work 9-5 and I'm basically wasting my time browsing this awesome subreddit hearing some music till I go to bed in a couple hours.

If I was to get more serious about why, I'm realising none of my good friends I feel I have a proper brotherly-caring bond. That's usually me but it's very tough to initiate that when I was so badly anti social and probably pushed everyone away from 2014-2016.