My (28F) best friend (28F) is telling me she needs space from our friendship cause "she can't handle my negativity"

Hello reddit

I am 28 years old and suffer from depression since I was 12 . I've been best friends with "M" since we were little kids.She also suffers from depression.

Long story short , our friendship has survived a lot and given that we both have depression we were each other's rocks . Or so I thought.

Seriously , she is the most important person to me in the world. My best friend. I can't imagine being without her . I'm not close with my family ( despite them being good people, no abuse or other issues , but we just never clicked ) and she had an horrible childhood and shitty parents , so we just naturally became closer to each other . Closer than family .

But lately I've been having an horrible bout of depression. I have been trying go out and get up and just fake it till you make it.But I suck at it and you can tell I am not okay. My friend on the other hand is way better and she is trying to make me do stuff that worked for her depression. The thing is, I can't fake it anymore. And honestly I feel sometimes she is faking it too. I mean, there is no cure for depression and one of the symptoms of this disease is to not want to do anything . I can't help it. I am waiting for an appointment with my doctor so he can refer me to a psychiatrist that can get me on meds .

Then this conversation happened.

Basically, I asked if she was okay ( cause I worry about her mental health )and she says she is. Then she asks me the same. I can't fake it . She is my best friend . Why would you lie to your best friend. I said I am not okay. So she starts going on about how I am bringing so much negativity with my issues and I am depressing her, and she can not deal with it, and for her own health she has to take a break from the friendship and have space .

She also said I want to be depressed and I am not doing anything to get better, that I am waiting for the meds to make me feel better and that I am not trying hard enough. And that she can't be my friend if I am not better.

I am crushed. She is my best friend. I can't make it without her. Talking to her is the only thing I am looking forward to everyday. And I told her that. We kinda fought , she called me names and I told her I feel she is giving me an ultimatum and forcing me to do stuff and I can't have that. It's not like I don't try. I do.I go out and stuff. But I can't say I am happy when I am not.

If you have time and want to read more , I screencap our last convo here : imgur.com/a/LxIxm

So Reddit what should I do?. I can't lose my best friend and I feel she is in the wrong cause saying stuff like I want to be depressed isn't helping.But I want to understand her side too. Am I in the wrong here? How can we keep our friendship? How can we both deal with depression and still be best friends?.

Tldr: Best friend and I both suffer from depression. She tells me she needs space from our friendship cause I am negative and bring her down and wants to force me to do stuff or else she walks away. I want to keep being friends but not give in to her ultimatum.