Anxiety disorder and depression.

So i just wanted to vent a bit about what i have gone through and how my life was ruined because of anxiety disorder... And well depression... So it all started when i was on the 12th grade, My anxiety skyrocketed for some reason it was hell when it did so. I was going to the bathroom atleast 8 times a day my anus was full of wounds from doing so. Anxiety disorder can affect you in different ways to some people it might extremely bad migraines to some what i had and so on so forth. I had quit the 12th grade when i turned 18 because i just could not handle it at all. I Felt like shit i thought i was useless i wanted to die. The only thing that made me feel better was playing with my friends and my constant interest in hardware. Well after a little time i thought i was finally better after taking my meds but it turned out i was taking the wrong meds for my problem. Since i hadnt been diagnosed with Depression and anxiety disorder yet but alas i was feeling better than before. I found the dream course for me "Hardware Technician and network management"I was living the dream i had great friends the best i have ever had and i was doing what i loved ... but then there it went again... Hell.. I had to quit the school had very strict rules and i had to quit... I was even more depressed i kept thinking about killing myself. Thanks to my psychologist i found out a bout a new psychiatrist which helped me immensely i started taking a new anti depressant and here i am on another course although not as good as the other it still is better than not doing anything... It hurts though my birthday is coming soon. And my graphics card is dying i want to get a 1070 since i want to experiment with all sorts of stuff and maybe even make a channel but i feel bad... My parents know of it and are helping me immensely to get it... But i feel so bad... My mom has a back tumour it doesnt affect her not besides giving her Back pains... but in the future she wont be able of walking because of this she cant work... My dad is the only one sustaining us.... He works everysingle day by himself to sustain us... and is still wanting to help me get the Graphics hard... I really want it ... But what would make me feel good would be for my dad to be able of resting... I wish i could help bring income.. Instead im a depressed fuck that is just a burden to the wonderful man my dad is... Thats how i feel... Thats it. Thanks for reading if you did so..