I’m weirdly devastated on only cycle 1.

I have spotting today. Im only on cycle one of trying for my second child. I conceived during cycle one last time and for some reason really thought I would this time too. I feel stupid. I’m 33-34 days in a cycle like clockwork but today, six days before scheduled period, i have light bleeding. I normally have heavy heavy AF so I keep trying to talk myself into believing this is implantation bleeding.

But every time I pee and I wipe I just cry. I have been symptom spotting like mad. Lower back pain. Nausea (I had hyperemesis last time). Fluffy breasts. The works. I’m just waterworks now hoping for this baby.

To complicate things this is the last cycle I can try for baby this year if I want a due date this year and I’m not sure we can afford a pregnancy that crosses the New Years line for insurance out of pocket cost purposes. So if this is aunt flow I now have to decide if I should wait until next year to TTC or press on.

Ugh.