I just don't want to be here.

I'm 20 and on and off for the last ten years I've wanted to just not be here. My dad is a Drunk narcissict who is abusive to other people to make himself feel better. My mum has stockholm syndrome and I and my siblings have all suffered because of this. I don't know how to deal with my emotions. When I'm angry I do stuff to hurt myselfm, Scratching my skin with a dull knife or punching something that won't give way to my fist. I'm unhealthy I'm jobless I don't have energy to do anything. It's killing my relationship I just don't see a point in living anymore.