i was supposed to have an abortion last saturday but the doctor didn't show up. i feel helpless and stuck.

i found out i was pregnant last wednesday, after being late on my period. i took a home pregnancy test, was stunned, and immediately called up the local abortion clinic, in tears, to schedule an appointment.

less than 24 hours than that, i was there for my first appointment. my state requires an ultrasound before an abortion, which i was dreading. i also did a counseling session. while the experience itself was stressful, all the employees were so kind to me. i began to feel a lot better about this process.

i made my next appointment for saturday morning at 8 am. i'm only 5 weeks pregnant, so i'm still eligible for a medical abortion. my plan was to take the first round of pills saturday, and then the second round on sunday, and then back to work on monday. i knew it was going to be a shitty weekend, but i was prepared to get it all over with. i was proud of myself for getting everything planned so quickly. it made me feel way less overwhelmed, and that i could get through this.

come saturday morning, i wake up nervous. i choke down a pb&j and some goldfish crackers, tons of water, as i was advised not to come in with an empty stomach.

i sat in the waiting room for 2 hours. there were about 20 other people in there, and i noticed that nobody was leaving. i thought it was strange. i began to get worried but my anxiety couldn't capture a rational thought of what may be going on.

i was called in, put into a counseling room, and told that the only doctor who could administer the pill to me, and do every other procedure to everyone else there, had an emergency and wasn't coming in that day. i burst into tears. i felt so tricked, and so helpless.

i made a mistake of getting pregnant, but i tried to be responsible by getting this all taken care of immediately. i had that taken away from me.

i rescheduled for next saturday morning, and i'm hoping everything works out well. i've felt extreme anxiety that i have to carry this pregnancy for another week.