Old school grade reports are not who I really am. I can let them go, right?
I am going through old papers right now from elementary school and high school. Grade reports and teacher progress reports. I guess I kept them this long because I wanted any clues about me that could be used as proof of who I really was (I come from a very abusive family and a mother who lies, I have not had any contact from them since 2010). Someone wisely wrote on here that she kept some items for a sense of "continuity" of who she is and I can so relate to that. That is exactly why I have these papers now. The papers feel awful, heavy, and judgemental. I guess I realized that I don't need to keep these painful comments about who I am. I don't need to hold onto the past, or proof of who I am, because I want to focus my energy on my life right now and on my future. I want to make room in my life for living. I am here writing about it because I needed to figure out what I was feeling by articulating it. And because I believe someone out there might understand.
Posted Mar 12, 2018, 9:29 PM UTC