Everything seems to be going perfect

It truly does but I'm scared because if good things happen to me there's bound to be something worse in the end. My day started off well good actually, I got off work an hour early and I got to talk with my good cousin and she made me feel ever so confident. I just don't know what to think anymore... I feel like the more I enjoy my time the less I will in the long run. I don't know what the f*** is going on all I know is that.... I don't know you guys... As I lay in this bed comforted by my sheets and the cold weather all I can think of it's just going to sleep and never waking up. I pray I'll get through this. I miss the old me.