Hey, coworker.

Fuck it, Let’s run this train into the ground. Hey, coworker. We had a good thing going for a while there. Your husband was being an asshole and I wasn’t happy either. So we connected. We had an actual honest to goodness connection. We talked about our lives, our desires, our disappointments. We eventually ended up getting sexual, which in hindsight wasn’t the best thing to happen, but it did. I can’t take that back and neither can you. I don’t connect with people too easily, and I do tend to detach from people I get sexual with, but not you. I really liked you. You were my support system in this stupid monotonous nothing job. Then apparently your husband “found some of our messages” and we couldn’t talk any more. I get that. But I fucking miss you. Not just the sexual stuff. That was fun and I was the luckiest guy on the face of the planet when you would talk to me that way. But then you cooled off and grew a conscience. Sometimes I wonder if he even found out, because I’m looking for a reason why you totally detached. We’ve had conversations here and there about why we don’t talk any more, and how we both “miss” it. I put miss in parentheses because I’m not sure you do. Sometimes I feel like you used me when times were hard then just dropped me. I feel like when I talk to you, you’re polite just because you don’t like confrontation. It kills me to think there wasn’t any emotion from your end. I hate this stupid job, and I want to walk away and forget about you, but I can’t. I know secrets that he doesn’t, and in my most selfish moments, I want to turn the screws on you and make you come back to me. But I don’t, because I’m apparently a decent human being. I won’t, and I never will, but damn it all if I don’t want to.