Still struggling

Some people I have been given advice from have told me it sounds like I was a rebound for my now ex boyfriend and others say he sounds like an unstable narcissistic/sociopathic in ways. I’ve truly been having a hard time. I still love him I think and I miss him and what I thought we had.

He was married before he met me. He was married about four years and divorced about 4 months I’m assuming before we met. He claims she cheated on him. He moved our relationship along pretty fast with saying he loved me after a month and started telling me he wanted to marry me after 2 months and have a family, move in together, get a dog in the future. He even met my family and spent time with them consistently. He bought me really nice gifts, took me to Disneyland, had pictures of us up. Had me stay the night multiple nights a week. He honestly seemed like a great boyfriend, he would do a lot of sweet things for me without asking me.

Then last couple weeks he just became distant. It was hot and cold behavior. I felt like I was being devalued. One of these nights I had to take my dog to emergency surgery and I called him because I was distraught and upset. When he called me back he told me he was going to come be with me then when we got off the phone he texted me saying he’s super drunk and high and doesn’t know what’s going on or if he can come. Then I didn’t hear back from him at all that night but saw he was active on Facebook. Didn’t heard from him til 8am the next day and then said he fell asleep on his friends couch and wanted to spend the whole day with me.

He broke up with me by telling me he didn’t want to live here after college graduation and would feel guilty if I moved for him like he moved here for his ex and when it didn’t work out it was the worst time in his life. He cried while telling me this. Told me he thinks it’s better to end it now before things get better between us, this is the hardest thing he’s ever done in his life, he loves me, never lied to me, only person he really cares about. Then after he’s done with his speech he is asking me if I want to go eat! I left after that

We have dinner a week later for him to tell me the same things after I asked if it was truly why. I also asked if part of it was because he hasn’t dealt with his previous relationship and he said part of it yes. Then he was acting all caring and worried again and was saying he shouldn’t have said all that stuff but he meant it. He said he just couldn’t go through with it. He said he doesn’t want to date anyone for awhile. Also told me when I told him I’ll have my guard up that,”good, you should.”

Well the week after he dumped me he changed his status to single and deleted our photos. Then a week after that he removed every tagged photo or post with me. He gets a new girlfriend a month after we broke up. At this time he deleted and blocked me and my friends on Facebook and Instagram but still to this day watches my Snapchats after I deleted him. He was reading all my tweet too until I blocked him.

He also started following his ex wife again a week before we broke up. She lives across the country now. She still has their photos up to this day. I think he’s been divorced a year now and has now been in two full on relationships. He also already started that job here so I don’t think he is moving.

How could he claim to care and just get distant and discard me like that? Was I a rebound? Is he still rebounding? He moved fast to new woman, it seems strange how fast he is hopping into relationships. I should have seen the red flags of how fast he moved things.

I’ve been having really bad anxiety. We were only together for five months but I fell for him and it just eats at me.