Help

I've been kind of depressed for about half a year now, maybe more. And im not certain why but it might be loneliness.

I havent had (m)any really close friends that stuck with me my entire life and i've kind of been dragging myself through every day to keep going.

Im severely antisocial and just want a good friend to play games with. But i know me not having friends is entirely my fault.

Although i do have one friend, a girl, to whom i confessed my love for her which she kindly rejected. We're still friends but it's not the same anymore.

I've been severely suicidal for a while now and I have severe anxiety issues almost every waking hour of the day. I used to really enjoy gaming but now i only game to make others happy. When noone i know is online i just sit in my room and cry until someone does go online.

I just needed to place that somewhere, if anyone has read it, you can find me in r/suicidewatch or just in my pm's if you need someone to talk to as well.