Summer Dreams
[deleted]
Posted Mar 14, 2018, 4:49 AM UTC · edited
73
Man, I keep reading the first few lines as part of the Richard Marx song, Endless Summer Nights. xD Good shit, though.
2
[deleted]
Posted Mar 14, 2018, 4:49 AM UTC · edited
Man, I keep reading the first few lines as part of the Richard Marx song, Endless Summer Nights. xD Good shit, though.
Just love this! Very vivid imagery, I can almost feel the romance. I just feel the transition into the twist here: "But now I am blessed from heaven above I wake up in an empty bed" could have been handled better. Can't say how best but I think even starting another stanza with "I wake up in an empty bed" could help.
Sorry in the original formatting, there was a break. I don't know what happened to it haha