Update
My last post talked about my boyfriend’s mother. I’ll be calling her SpoiledSpat because she equates money and gifts with love. Well, we decided to announce (jointly) to my bf’s mom that we’re pregnant, she turned to me icily and said « oh, really? » whole staring at me coldly, unblinkingly. When we questioned her at the end of the visit (bf refused to confront her..) she actually stammered « well I’m happy for you IF you’re happy » looking pointedly at my bf. I told bf all visits were off until she got her act together. That I was not tolerating her words towards me, and neither should he.
Am I wrong to thing my MIL is a JUSTNO MIL? Like, she sat next my bf but made a point to look at me all coldly. She’ll sometimes refuse to engage me, USED to spend every minute talking about herself.
Posted Mar 18, 2018, 3:16 PM UTC
She’s a JustNo. She’ll talk to your SO about how you trapped him. Or it’s not his.
She doesn’t need to be involved in any baby stuff, and she owes you an apology.
Congratulations on your incoming LO. I like to buy a little onesie & hang it over my desk while I wait to fill it up. I know it’s weird, but I don’t do pregnancy well, and it helps remind me that it’s worth it ;-)
Awww. That’s so cute!! Yeah, I told my SO that she needs to apologize if we’re going to move on. He’s agreed she does not need to be involved in any more baby stuff, she really burst my bubble. We also made a plan that he will talk to his mom when she stops by his work Wednesday. It’s been a long road of many little instances of gaslighting, tiny acts that have built up into a molehill. I hope SO keeps his word and cuts her off. Last time she harassed me weekly PP for visits. Yeah, no. I really like that onesie idea.
She wont explicitly say this, but these were my thoughts exactly. She’s already made it clear how little she values me, the icing on the cake is insisting my daughter is our only child (I have two, one from a previous marriage), and never including my son or I in their family pictures.
Yep. Your children need to be protected from her, then. It’s better to have no grandma than on that pretends that some of the kids don’t exist.
SO needs to work on his spine.
I know. Baby steps for now. He’s agreed to talk to his mom this week, but honestly the Jocasta in this heifer is STRONG. She loves sleeping over (put a stop to that PP after having my little girl), but she threw a right fit and punished me via my SO. It was...very off.
My SO let slip his mom talked about taking care of my youngest after she was born, which I guess included bottle feeding?!? We were strictly bf’ing, so I have no f*** idea.
I had her on an info diet, but that went down the drain today. I guess I need encouragement because I knew better but opened myself up anyway. Now I’m afraid she’s just going to pull out all the jocasta-y stops until Sept, when I’m due :/
I know. I make those kinds of mistakes with Enabline, too. You have something wonderful going on & you want family to be happy with you. Instead you learn new ways they can shit on you.
I’d just be super explicit with SO: “I am not an incubator for babies for your mother to play with.” “I need a partner and my children need a father. If you are too busy worrying about your mommy to be that, then I have no time for you.”
But keep in mind that this all ended in divorce for me. You can check my Joyous Ex & the Mama’s Boy post for the full saga.