What I learned.

I just wanted to share with you some of the things I have learned after surviving infidelity. Before everything went to hell I was married for 10 years, had 3 kids together, a decent house, and a life that seemed normal at the time. After that 10 years I found out she was having an affair and it had been going on for at least 8 months. I used some technology to get concrete evidence, evidence that I shared with her and made copies of and put in safe places in case things went really bad. She had lied and said there was not a physical relationship but I had the evidence otherwise. We divorced with me being the good guy who gave up the house I had paid 1/3rd of off myself along with 99% of everything I owned. All the furniture, appliances, and pots and pans that only I used as I cooked every meal while she took naps after her part time job. We set rules, she broke them. She had this man in our house that I was still paying for after we agreed she would not. It was like that over and over. I agreed to everything in the divorce. I moved into a little two bedroom apartment as a grown ass man with a professional job so that we could get this done and I would have my kids regularly and they would have as little change as possible. Since that time I went through a lot but today I am engaged to my fiancé I’ve been with over three years who my kids love to death and we are getting married in Playacar Mexico in December. So here is what I learned:

When your SO cheats, they are not rejecting you. They are rejecting your relationship or marriage. The fact that they don’t “get” you is not your fault. You might not be perfect, but if you did your part, you are on the right side of history. Think about it like a movie you love. Your friend may say “I hated that and couldn’t finish it!” They say that because they could not get it and not because it was a bad movie.

If your SO broke vows or agreements, it’s not your fault. They can say you “drove them to it”, but as an adult they should have had a conversation with you and worked it out. Cheating is cowardly, dishonest, and weak.

Nobody holds your happiness but you. You don’t need anyone else to be happy. The world is yours to live in the way you see fit. Anyone who wants to join that can do it but they share your experience. they don’t rule it

Cheating is a choice. It’s not an impulse or a mistake. It’s a choice just like abuse.

Good luck and remember you own your life.