Thanks for the feedback, will definitely use it 

Great idea behind your piece, looking and wandering if there's something / some one looking back. 

Something to be aware of is cliché, and how easy it is to fall into overly used terms that we've all heard a thousand times. I'm talking explicitly about 'bold faced lies'. The way to conquer the pitfalls of cliché, is to take that which you've heard before and re-imagine it as your own. To think about what it means in essence and then put your own personal spin on it, that way people aren't reading your work and thinking 'this guys got nothing new to say' - everyone's got something unique to say, it just takes the right tools to get it across. 

For me it's a sledge hammer and five litres of industrial bleach. 



Thank you for your feedback man I appreciate it

Good poem, I like that you're a rhymer. That said, I do think this is a bit cliche of a subject. Can you come up with any other points? I'm assuming you're talking about black inequality? Also, it has a bit of a "One Mic" feel to it, it flows, but might be better as a song.

All in all you have definite potential and I think with some work your depth could really shine through.

Thank you, I'm happy it had an effect on you, will definitely use your feedback as well 

Eight lines that started a mental debate but only after I tuned out some design decisions.  
&nbsp;  
Seems God is being begged for more answers even though faith, not enlightenment, is the requirement.  
&nbsp;  
Thought 'to ponder' could replace 'and ever ponders'. Full stops after 'pain' and 'lies' read better for me. Expectation of rhyme throughout needed to be put to one side, although ended up trying this myself.  
&nbsp;  
Spent awhile on these eight lines so your work had an effect.

    I sit down and start to wonder,  
    If God looks down and ever ponders,   
    Why we look up and call his name,   
    Our voices filled with spite and pain,   
    Has God fooled us with bold faced lies,   
    Why can't I see me in your eyes,   
    I can't help but start to question,   
    Why God created such repression.  

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/80xqbg/22_black_male_nonverbal_gunshot_wound_3_months/dv8xap5/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/82aprs/remember_me/dv8xysz/