Unrequited

Love is a weird thing from which I tend to shy away.

When I was little I never needed it, I was doing okay.

Till I found the girl; I’d never see her the same,

It was that glare, that gaze, it drove me insane.

Brown eyes, curled hair, a smirk that made me lame,

I couldn’t contain the joy I felt when I talked to her every day.

But what’s love to someone that age?

She was taken, by a guy who wasn’t me, for god’s sake.

I felt trapped in a cage, like I was buried in a frozen lake.

Yeah, it was love at first gaze, and I hate myself for waiting,

But the first time you feel that connection, it’s intoxicating.

 

I remember the desperation, the agony, the despair,

Of my eighth-grade ignorant ass trying to prepare

For all the times I’d wanted to ask her, all those times that seemed rare.

But all I was doing was denying the dreadful bare.

A coward I was, to never let her know, never to share,

Until one fateful night under the moon, song, and fare.

I knew that day I was going to get it done, so I prepared.

Perfect hairstyle, clothes, a belt around my pants.

I was ready, ready, for the dreadful winter dance.

We sang, we ran, we danced till we felt mad,

And then I decided to shoot, I went and took my chance.

The gears turned in her head, her gaze stuck me like a lance.

 

“No.”

 

It was like I was in a trance, unbalanced and about to cry.

How could it be? It was lust at first sight!

My eighth-grade brain felt like it was on ice.

A year all wasted on a crush who’d never like.

I couldn’t process, couldn’t fathom, but my dreams were flawed by design.

How could it be this way, getting pushed to the side?

So I took a break from love and its shite,

I went cold and contrived,

Till four years passed,

And I sit here,

Unrequited.

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