Good flow and nice narrative. It could be expanded upon however.

I really appreciate that, I just wanted share something that others could relate to. Not a piece. Not a platform. Just an honest attempt to capture the essence of a struggle that torments so many.   
Also, it feels good to share this and it is encouraging to hear that feedback. Thank you from the bottom of my heart

I think that was very good, i like the wag it captures lots of aspects of being an insomniac in an almost perfect way. Good work

That isn' a line. Thats me apologizing. Thanks for reading!

line length jumps up with the third and fourth line, jars the flow. I feel myself slipping could be fresher. The last line, sorry if this isn't good, seems out of place.

Very true! I was kind of just jotting down my feelings as the sun came up.

You wouldn’t necessarily have to add to the ending you could elaborate more of the middle for example.

Well you did a very good job of that and making it relatable

Insomnia shining bright  

Casting shadows through the night.   

I cannot find the time to rest my weary mind.  

Struggling to capture relaxation in my grasp    

I feel myself slipping off at last.

Peaceful slumber, the elusive prize    

Obtained just before it's time to rise.




Almost time to "wake up" 😐🤤