Despair

DESPAIR

Picture sharp-peaked and shark infested waters in my mind.
Currents and eddies create
figures of dancing death on the surface. It wants to pull us down.
You run first,
a few steps free you of your anchors
and you leap onto the breeze.
The water plays with fates but it can never touch
You
Fly to safer shores. And I stay
Wishing that I could swim.

And wishing, I wait
Caught between the Devil and the Deep Blue sea.

But you came back for me.
Hope like an inferno ignites in my chest
Burning to the beating of angelic wings that I imagined onto your back.
I never noticed your labored breaths
The ache in your muscles
Never realized how painfully your heart beat itself
‘Till death
Do us
Part
I hoped.

And wishing, I hoped
Caught between the Devil and the Deep Blue sea

Wishes and hopes bought me nothing in the world
The waters that I had hated and cursed
And relied upon
Disappeared.
Bone cracked earth gave birth to the fire that I had kept in my heart
And I choked on the dreams that it had fed me
For a time
I burned
I wished
That currents or eddies of waters’ past
Could drag me back
From you.

And wishing, I burned
Caught between the Devil and the Deep Blue sea

My sharp-peaked and shark infested waters
My hell-scaped fire fed tundras
My icy mountains and yellow fields, and tar pits and tar black caves,
And I
was never as strong as you
You
Pushed me with the force of a fearful heart
You
Laid waste to my deadlands
The wings on your back gave hurricanes and tsunamis
With each beat.
So I swam
Blood red roses raged like the tide within me
Wind flew faster than the stars turn and clipped your wings
I left.
The Devil couldn't stop me.

...I fucking hate you, but I love you...

Time passes hands like change does
My roses wilted, dull blood dripped and fell in petals to the Earth
Pulled by a gone away breeze.
Water trickled back in streams of thought
And the ice cold hue of a new lake fluttered and shown
Back the darker water of the past
I lie
In the lush grass on the lake side
Horrified by my happiness
I lied.

I could always swim.
You were never an angel.
I never hated you.
And I never left.
Because i will always love you.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/88gcd0/gearbreak/ https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/885rx4/a_sincere_thank_you/