The comparison of your knee to salt was really vivid.  The imagery all comes through without any distractions which makes it an amazingly easy poem to relate to. The only thing that would make the poem choppy is the constant repetition of "and". Otherwise this poem is really good at being free thought and unbridled by form. 

Hey,

I'm taking your poem down because you haven't included two links to recent feedback, or because some of the feedback you've included isn't high-effort. If you're confused as to what that means, check the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/rules) and the [feedback guide](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques). Message me when you change the feedback and I'll put your poem back up. And of course, you can always post in the [Sharethreads](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/search?q=Sharethread&sort=new&restrict_sr=on&t=week) without posting feedback. 

Cheers,  
Dog the Mod

Be Local