I like the words you've used and the alliteration in the first line, but I'm not sure the rhythm is strong enough for such a small poem. I love the irony in the last line though.

The original also violates the limerick structure 

It flows well except the end seems a bit lengthy. 

Nigh to this needless cesspool I say
I think we can talk a better way
Sincerely a text she wrote

Nigh to this cesspool I say
I think we talk a better way 
Sincerely she wrote

As I didn’t write it, this feels a little more concise to the theme. It’s short yet effective.

I think there is a hell of a lot more subtext here than you are being given credit for. Bravo. 


I appreciate the word play between rote and wrote; however, I'm thrown off by the cadence of the 3rd and 4th lines. There is an allusion to the alliteration of the first line, which is a nice thread; however, the syllabic consistency throws off the metre in a contrived, unsettling fashion.  

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