Shcizohperina

[deleted]

Why the spelling errors? Are schizophrenics suddenly unable to spell any words?

If this is an attempt to simulate word salad, I think you missed the mark -- I would try for sentences that trail off cognitively, rather than misspelling words. If you listen to interviews with those suffering, they often speak in long roundabout sentences that sort of portray what they are trying to say, but only obliquely.

Now the paranoid stuff is a good idea, but I think would go better if it snuck in nonchalantly -- rather than this paragraph of breakdown, a sentence or two can probe at the voices, with the rest of the stanza being more uncanny valley poetry that itches at making sense but doesn't quite scratch it.

Keep at it!

First off, I like what you are doing with the words, but it is also difficult to read. The human brain can usually piece together a word if both the last letter and the first letter are in the right place but it still takes time and distracts from the poem when you have something meaningful here. The poem itself is good but I would try to rework the words, either expressing them in a different way or not making every word changed into a word salad. Maybe just one voice?

You must know different schizophrenics from those I know, because this doesn't seem true to life from my experiences.

Separately, I'd be interested in your take on what makes this a poem.