I'm deleting this one after a few days

She Painted Stars With The Cells In My Eyes

Where's the friend that lifted my spirits?

Where's the friend that once prayed for me and taught me to cry out to Jesus?

Where's the friend that once painted images of creation and stars and the cells in our eyes?

Gone because I foolishly swam in her comfort,

Gone because I heard but didn't listen,

Gone because I dreamt selfishly,

Gone because I embraced her as the legion of my demons dragged me into the sea,

Gone because all I could offer was to exile myself,

Rather than drag her into the depths with me.

I move so slowly here on the ocean floor,

My rest escapes me as I hear songs that reminded me of a friend I pushed away,

Whether I am in sorrow or anger I can only blame me,

With each slow step I strive to get further from my fatal flaws,

Where's the friend that lifted my spirits?

I cry out to God and pray myself to sleep,

I read through this book and learn what it is to be undone,

I am a man of unclean lips and I dwell among men with unclean lips,

In the pristine house that is your soul I only tracked mud on the tile,

Yet you prayed and were glad that you could be my friend,

The stars are now hidden in this murky water,

The images you painted in the sky fade as each day passes,

I miss my friend, I ask God why I'm here now,

It's hard to breathe and I can never sleep,

I toss and turn and list my mistakes,

All that I loved reminds me of all that I lost,

Foolish to think as I overstate my importance,

When I leave these depths,

Can I be forgiven but not forgotten?

uno

dos