Source
r/sociopath•
TraumaEffect

Does anyone else have those "Just Shut the Fuck Up and Tell Me What You Really Mean" moments?

So several times in my life, I've lost friends because I do something that bothers them, and instead of just telling me point blank that they don't like the behavior, they dance around the subject and then get angry when I don't understand. Usually it's based around the fact that I'm a very easygoing guy and little to nothing bothers me, so sometimes I don't realize that things I might be doing are a problem for other people.

Most reason example, I was getting too fucked up on drugs for my friends' liking. Now, I'm a "why not" kind of guy. My friends have explicitly stated that they like me because at the drop of the hat they could say "hey, you wanna drop everything and drive 500 miles out of state for no reason?" and I'd say yes, because fuck it, why not? I'm not doing anything else important right now. I offer a great deal of companionship because I rarely say no to things, because my desire for novel experiences makes it that almost any new experience is something I'm willing to say yes to. So it just didn't occur to me that me being fucked out of my skull on drugs would bother them. Plus the diminished capacity of being on drugs surely dulled my usually acute ability to gauge reactions from other people. I've taken care of people who were blasted out of their minds, and as long as they don't throw up on me we're kosher. They recently told me about how they feel, so I changed my behavior and it's no longer an issue, but you see my point? Anyone else have similar experiences?

Posted Apr 25, 2018, 3:35 AM UTC

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Johnyjamz•

Reminds me of my last breakup:

This gorgeous Colombian woman that was slowly putting on the lbs.—about 6 months into our relationship. Now I’m fine with a little meat but once they enter the double chin phase I start to become less attracted, even resentful towards the person since I’m busy myself trying to stay in shape.

Well, one day on the couch she asked why I wasn’t having sex with her as much and I told her it probably had something to do with her recent weight gain. The next day was my birthday. I waited for her to show up all night and never heard from her...

I later found out she had been throwing up her meals for a long time and felt like she could finally stop doing that now that she was with me. So when I called her out on her weight it triggered something, she drank a bunch of tequila by herself before driving to my birthday, got a DUI on the way, and spent the night in jail.

I ended things for good the next morning. Not because of the DUI, she was just too much emotional work. She ended up losing her student visa and got deported back to Colo.

tLDR/:3: I got a woman kicked out of America because I was being too “on the nose”.

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[deleted]•

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Givzhay329•

That's some straight butterfly effect shit, man.

3
Mermaid_RibcageBusy Bee•

Hmm. Bulimics aren't usually thin to begin with - which perpetuates their struggle with purging food. Also, they don't just miraculously decide being with somebody means they feel comfortable with food. On the contrary, it would exacerbate the disorder trying to get and stay perfect for the new relationship. I find this part of the story...... Lacking.

Regardless.

I'm Glad they deported her. We Don't need a green card seeking emotionally unstable foreigner in this country.

2
Johnyjamz•

Ya I mean obviously she was at least half way full of shit in general. Sad part is this is the story she decided to give me.

1
congenitalfistula•

To paraphrase some wisdom from William Dafoe in Spider-man: "Do what you need to with people, then broom them fast."

no chance in hell would a line like that be approvable for a pg movie these days

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[deleted]•

[deleted]

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CommonMisspellingBot•

Hey, _fuckitalready, just a quick heads-up:
foward is actually spelled forward. You can remember it by begins with for-.
Have a nice day!

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1
dropdigitsM•

good bot

2
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1
dropdigitsM•

Mmm, cutting the bullshit is efficient.

I prefer being direct always, but i've found being slightly indirect has a lot of benefit, and reinvests itself

1
TheSinpathistnot the droid you are looking for•

Always.

When someone tries to beat around the bush too hard, I immediately cut-out the bullshit and tell them what they really want to say, judging from observation, people really like this and find it easier to acknowledge this as their truth, which can be used for manipulation quite nicely since it might just create an illusion of huge understanding. But I think, I should not do this very often but instead, poke them around until spill all of their beans. A lot of people because of the first thing I said come to me for advice for obvious reasons, I remember a friend saying me that "I want to talk to you because you always tell me the things I don't want to hear", but I think even this is a result of his own dishonesty towards himself, which makes me irritated as fuck when it reflects upon me. I don't care if he's dishonest with himself or not but when that dishonest is projected upon me, I don't like it. It also fosters some kind of dependency from his end, which, eventually wouldn't prove as good news.

If people just told me what they actually meant, I'd honestly spend much less time baiting them.

Though I am not complaining, it's fun.

9
Aleksandra1128So It Goes. •

Oh yeah I get that. I think people need to learn to be more straightforward.

6
TraumaEffectOPDiagnosed•

Would seem to make things a lot easier.

2
tafsonworks•

I work in sales. This is basically what I boil down to everyday.

4
batshitbabyASPD•

Try doing graphic design work for someone and having them bounce around what they want..

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Ovennamedheats•

Stay out of Seattle, passive-aggressive capital of America

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Mermaid_RibcageBusy Bee•

I love it here. I mean, I hate it here, but i really love how people try to be confrontational - then they meet somebody (me) who thrives on confrontation. They talk and act big until I'm in the picture.

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Ovennamedheats•

Lol, you live in Seattle area?

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Mermaid_RibcageBusy Bee•

Live outside the Seattle area. Work within.

1
Ovennamedheats•

Right on, I’ve been up here for 9 years, it’s a beautiful place.

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Givzhay329•

Yes, I am an extremely literal person so whenever someone tries to say something in a subtle tone I'll initially do exactly what they said. Often I realize what they really mean, but will do it anyway just so they can learn to be more specific and detailed.

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barrruuuch•

Almost always

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_fuckitalready•

Yeah. like, excuse me for giving enough fucks to tell you something that will help you move forward in life. Fuck those fucking people. Theyre too immature for life, like the rest of society they're worthless emotions are fueled by denial and pointlessness. They just want somebody to either help them feel lile the victim, or aid them in being in denial of the ugly truth. Thats why only cowards get depressed and have low self-esteem (Unless its caused by a disorder or something.)

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[removed]

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thisisme201413•

YEEEEEEEES! everytime ppl talk i am like JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN. i love how in the bojack TV show ppl state things sometimes that are super weird but are in fact the actual point ppl in society make, just in Bojack they come right out and say it.

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batshitbabyASPD•

Yes but I've learned to keep my mouth shut and I just say it in my head. You can bet someone's gonna cut you off after that, if they don't matter tho I'll definitely do it

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[deleted]•

[deleted]

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Somodo•

i hate when people can't just straight up tell you what's buggin because to me that's the most annoying thing is having to try and play jigsaw puzzle with your brain. I'm not a mind reader and quite frankly if you don't want to tell me what's wrong then I don't care get out my life because at that point you're just causing unnecessary stress

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lotikpotik•

I'm a very easygoing guy and little to nothing bothers me

drops everything to hang out with others to please them rather than putting himself first YIKES "nothing bothers me btw, did i tell u that already?" LMAO

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TraumaEffectOPDiagnosed•

Yep, easygoing is synonymous with "doormat". You look that up in a thesaurus all by yousrelf? Who am I kidding, you don't own a thesaurus.

**Edit. Nigga I'm on disability with a large inheretence from my dead Grandma. I do what the fuck I want, when the fuck I want, all day everyday. I play videogames most of the time and hang out with friends the restof the time. Drop everything? Like playing League of Legends and God of War 4? What a sacrafice. You jelly that my life is AWESOME? Enjoy living below the poverty line.

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lotikpotik•

you don't own a thesaurus.

but i do have an agilisaurus and a pterodactyl

Nigga I'm on disability

Yeah, we can see that u have a mental disability, u don't need to tell us.

3†
TraumaEffectOPDiagnosed•

Yep, I do have a mentall illness, but that 800mg of Depakote a day makes it so I haven't had symptoms in years. Now what will I do with my $1400 this month? Maybe I'll come visit you at McDonalds. Don't split in my fries.

Just joking. I don't eat poor people food.

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lotikpotik•

Maybe I'll come visit you at McDonalds.

I've said it before about projection that if u don't have a basis for an assumption then u are looking for that basis in yourself and this is the most obvious case of projection.

Another thing, projection always has a logical consistency mainly cuz u base projection on yourself and u demonstrate that:

First u mention that u enjoy your poverty line and 2nd u mention the job you work at "McDonalds". Funny, isn't it? So much information can be taken from projections.

1
Ovennamedheats•

800mg depakote? How the hell can you feel anything man, that shit flatlines my emotions

1