I didn’t think your title sucked, I just wanted a little more clarification between it’s relationship with the poem. I like the refraction bit of the title, it’s just that the jellyfish has too much object right off the bat without much acknowledgement after. Is the poem about a jellyfish? Is the jellyfish a metaphor for something else? Do titles really matter? It’s all subjective, and you saw the moon as being synonymous with a jellyfish. So you could change the title or edit a line to better depict that, or if you like your poem how it is, keep it, and other people likely will see the analogy or understand what you were trying to do.

wow thank you so much!!! I guess I wanted the title to kind of reflect the moonlight, like the moon and jellyfish were synonymous, but I see how that could be confusing. Do you have any other ideas for the title? I always suck at writing them. 

I like your word choice, especially lilting and meandering. The more I read it the more imagery I got out of it. I’m a little lost with the title and it was hard for me to find context to it within the poem. Perhaps I wanted more of the good imagery you had set up to describe what was announced in the title. I like that the scene is described as well lit before stating that the song of the moon was the light source. It’s a kind of passive tone that I personally like in poetry as it keeps the subject more vague and subjective and for the reader. More punctuation would help the reader. Double space to break lines up. Great read, thx

sorry!! first time poster, I guess I was just excited :)


Can you put your feedback as part of the post next time? I almost took this down. 

Feedback 
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8fyze7/humans/dy7l9d1/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8fujem/one_minute_away_from_2061/





Hi -coolghoul! Your poem has been removed from OCPoetry because you did not include 2 links to feedback. [\[Click here\]](http://oc.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/search?q=flair%3A%27Requests%27&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all#ocf) to find some poems awaiting feedback. You can message us [\[here\]](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FocPoetry) after editing your post, and we can re-approve it. Otherwise you may post your poem in a Sharethread.  

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Light from Jellyfish Refraction