My first poem: The Runner

(Hey. I posted this earlier but I deleted my post and am reposting because I edited it and didn't get any feedback before. This is my first poem. I tried to be vulnerable.)

You were once a runner
A tangible thing
Something to claim
For an otherwise meaningless existence 

 

You were good at it too
Feet on and off the ground glittering ghostly
A morse code of sweat and self 
Wash off in an oasis, showered with being

 

Bounds devoted to expansion
Transfixed on the future; an endless ascension
Award trophies in colors that don’t exist
Riding idylls through races and records

 

It seemed to be clockwork without time
But the alarm went off
Thoughts of contentment draining the shower
Senses fleeing and flooding with feeling

 

You were always a sensitive boy
But you thought things were different now
With this tangible thing that made you and protected you
But it broke you, disturbed you, mutilated you

 

You now dreamed of a new you
But it all fell through
Suffocated by sideways mirrors
Introspection disconnection 

 

Rationality inextricable with death
Death of self, that is
Stuck in a lugubrious mood
Car crash dreams with no license

 

Chained to knowledge
Ignorance is the only salvation
No one spares a penny
For the homeless humanity

 

How can you feel nostalgic for something that didn’t exist?
Your mind eroded in time
No, houdini; this was not your grand illusion
But you did die like him, in a fateful delusion

 

feedback

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8ic7qy/the_last_weight/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8ic8v4/to_keep_my_heart_from_flying/